horse girl jokes reddit

Funny horse jokes, puns, and riddles. - You see, we don't really have many horses coming in here. Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse... What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe? Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. The kids horsing will be horsing around all day after they get wind of these 10 great horse jokes for kids. He loved to ride horses. "Hey" the bartender said, "Sure" said the horse. A big list of horse racing jokes! He was pretty fat, and he thought he was a cowboy. Muahahaha. "Why the long face?" A big list of horse jokes! The trainer says, "Well, you have to have the proper exercise regimen, you have to have the proper diet..." and goes on to explain it. The blonde replies, "So did I, but I didn't think that black horse could possibly win a second time! "mighty fine, thank you donkey", the HTML dev replied. The horse says "I don't think I am". Horse … P.S. History Biography Geography Science Games. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any horse ass witze you can hear about horse. He withdrew the whole amount, dashed back to the races and bet all of it on Pentagram to win. The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings." Immediately the donkey started crying. - That'll be $25. The barman looks at the horse and says "That's quite a stomach you've got, are you an alcoholic?" Cookies help us deliver our Services. 34.8m. After 5 hours the results are out. After riding awhile, the scout gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Hmmm, buffalo come." Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Duck. The bartender replies: "I think you've had enough already", A horse walks into a barn Here's some fodder to help stirrup trouble your horse friends , … Then God said, You must name the sea animals, too The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby." Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" "Looks like your timing chain broke" The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse? Horse. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither, "Look at all of these beautiful horse" 41.0k. I grew up in the Midwest in a sort of country area. they ask. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables. "Yes... a crocodile." "What's that?" The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" Apr 1, 2014 - Explore raeleigh wyrick's board "Horse jokes" on Pinterest. "Yeah?" The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!" The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse opens his wallet, pays and start drinking. Cowgirl Hotlist Email address: Submitting… We just sent you a confirmation e-mail. If not, I'll do what I did back in Texas." Sometimes, the horns are removed. to make him go and 'Amen!' level 2. Cow. The cowboy went back inside the bar, got a drink, and returned to find his horse. They are in a stable relationship. Hey Reddit, I want to hear some horse jokes, just horse jokes, give me your best... Close. The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. ", Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig… Playing next. "Okay, what else then?" POOF! "Because," replies the third man, "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. The bartender asks them what their troubles are. -. "Yeah?" Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack. The horse says: "What's your problem, you never seen a horse tending a bar... jump to content. He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse?" - With prices like these, I'm not surprised. They were having fun. However explaining this prior to the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse. A horse walks into a bar, the bartender goes "why the long face". Bill got on the horse and said, "Praise the Lord!" "What's the matter little friend?" Thank God!". He bet $5555.55 on the horse. Let me start over. Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at. *poof* The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. *Old MacDonald had a farm* and bingo was his name-o! There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. I AM THOR!" I came here for this. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ", ... and his car suddenly breaks down. 1 sheep. But if I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes before da horse! Last week’s plane jokes are here. "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the third man. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The bartender says, "Why is your face so long? It's like beating a dead horse and i don't want to give him anymore video ideas. Report. "It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck." Horse Jokes Laugh yourself horse with these funny jokes from the farm... Hay you! The horse replies "I have cancer". By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. That being said, horse puns can leave you a little hoarse after laughing so hard, so try to take these puns one at a time so you get to enjoy them for what they are. Vote: share joke Joke has 85.09 % from 2258 votes. ", The horse says "my son was just diagnosed with cancer", She was nominated for an Oscar for her performance in "War Horse.". "You know horses?" get reddit premium. Browse more videos. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Email. Q: A man rode his horse to town on Friday. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The man runs away scared and reaches a farm house about a mile down. Mark dreams number 7. This is the moment where those who are into philosophy start to grin as they're familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito Ergo Sum , or I think, therefore I am . The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic? 70 of them, in fact! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! I was surprised they held him up. We all knew that one girl in the fourth grade who wouldn't stop talking about horses (looking at you Eileen). 5 years ago | 470.8K views. "There are many reasons why a cow doesn't have horns," began the farmer. Suddenly the horse poofs out of existence. - thinks the cowboy. Ah yes, the always ‘popular’ dad-joke. "...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!" "It's like a horse, but with stripes." Then stop horsing around and read some of these hilarious Horse Jokes! When he exited the saloon, he found his horse missing "Yes! ... Katy Perry Jokes She'll Be the Good Cop and Orlando Bloom Will Be the Bad Cop to Their Daughter. The blonde says "OK, you're on!" Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold." The horse says, "I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence.". at the top of his lungs, and the horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. Duck. People. ​ Anyways, that was the day I had to help Jack off a horse. Just Kidding they get shot. the HTML dev asked. The horse screams, "I will end you!" He was 55 years old, ate 5 times a day, always brought with him $55 in his wallet and always wore a shirt with 5 pockets. And bites the bartender in the throat. These clean jokes are safe for kids of all ages. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" ", All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. 17K likes. The bartender says Why the long face? 11 Best One Liner Jokes From Reddit. So when the horse said "I think not," then he could no longer be. Submit a joke. The horse replies "I think not," a promptly disappears. The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?" Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at. COME ON MY FACE!" A man walks in and tells him his horse is looking ill from the hot sun. Equine humor~ We've got animal jokes, elephant jokes and cow jokes too! "What?" He tells him that horse spoke and told him the timing chain broke. ... and orders a pint. The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly." Check out these funny horse jokes... Neigh enough for you? "What's a crocodile?" See more ideas about Horse jokes, Funny horses, Funny horse. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. Tell em to your The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. "Yeah." Follow. 10. Amish Jokes. yeah i think it was a horse. I have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep. That's how you died!" "I just lost my husband in that same fire. Where you left him. Humorous Equestrian Memes For The Horse Girls Horse girls have the reputation of being weird, anti-social and most of all, creepily obsessed with horses . Well Jack just kept getting fatter and fatter. by Gena-mour Barrett. The horse replies, "I can no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties from Sex in the City. As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...'', He tied up his horse and entered a saloon He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer. After a long wait, and failling to satisfy Nina, sits on his PC, logs on twitch and he is indeed unbanned. His lucky number was, not surprisingly, 5. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?" You’ll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. Pentagram, obviously, came in fifth. Online. See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy: "I think, therefore I am." The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! We're the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse. 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" 2 sheep. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "Horse is already plural, isn't it?" I've never seen a talking horse! "Zebra." These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. The spider nods sympathetically. "Okay, what else?" 78% Upvoted. ... An amish girl and her mom are riding home in a horse drawn carriage. Did you love our dog jokes? The man replied, "I did. The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?" "Yes," replies the little girl. Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! He is confused and says to the scout, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?" The man replied, "I did. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" The cowboy shouted, "I'm going to go inside for another drink, when I'm done, my horse better be returned. 109 of them, in fact! To which the horse replies: and fines her $5. Oh, sorry it was a woman. He looks over at Pestilence, and with a tip of his cloak, says "M'alady.". These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers – but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. No one is safe! 18 of them, in fact! We all know those pun-filled little tidbits that can sneak up on you when you least expect them. He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007. But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. Horse Jokes & Equine Info. A priest, a nun, and a rabbi who were just approaching the entrance quietly turn and walk away as the horse shakes the bartender vigorously back and forth screaming, "why the floppy head?! And a Fence to your left. The horse comes seventh. After you tell your friends a few of the following 63 horse puns and horse jokes, you should be … The Barntender says, "Hay, the usual? 1 sheep. The horse disappears. What do you do? The first one says "I sew 2 fingers that were cut off back on a guys hand, and I did it so well that he still became a famous pianist". ", "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? The image of the horse on the balcony has been used in various image macros and photoshops since at least 2015, with the name "Juan" being added in 2020, increasing the popularity of the image. The scout replies, "Ear sticky". ", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. Now, admittedly, this joke only makes sense if you are familiar with the French Enlightenment philosopher, Rene Descartes, who famously said, "I think, therefore I am." To help him, he hired a Native American scout. At the very last minute the Walmart greeter walks over and unplugs it. Are they short on electricians?". Get an ad-free experience with special benefits, and directly support Reddit. Members. He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! Man whispers in the horse's ear, horse doesn't stop laughing all week. unfortunately, there's no breeze to aid in the cooling process, so he asks Tonto to run around the horse a few times to create some air movement. Wagon jokes that are not only about chariot but actually working car puns like A Fireman See s a Little Girl and A little girl lives next to a fire house Wagon Jokes Following is our collection of van puns and fireman one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. So I used to have this friend named Jack. Rest in peace to boiling water. Horse Jokes. Rest in peace to boiling water. Created Jan 25, 2008. See the joke is a reference to Descartes the philosopher who coined the phrase "I think. One day, he saw a horse by the name of Lucky Five was racing. See what Country Girl (giginechita) has discovered on Pinterest, the world's biggest collection of ideas. "Praise the Lord!" Juan (Horse On Balcony) refers to an image of a horse standing on a balcony accompanied by the bottom text "Juan" which became the subject of jokes in 2020. The horse disappears. Humorous Equestrian Memes For The Horse Girls Horse girls have the reputation of being weird, anti-social and most of all, creepily obsessed with horses . WATCH NOW: Horse Puns So Bad, They Have To Be Good Whether you're an equestrian yourself, or just hang out with them, you should never feel at a loss for horse-appropriate conversation. I did my best and the guy became president of the USA". before downing the whole lot. "Well, you know horses?" He pulls over and starts to look under the hood when he hears a voice from behind. Every girl that made sure you know she had a horse would also often wear cowboy boots to school, have multiple photos of their horse in their locker, and would only be able to relate to other girls with horses because that's all they were capable of talking about. The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck". That was fucking awful LOL!! Here's what she said. A box of fuses." A big list of horseback riding jokes! A horse walks into a woman. As he saddled up, a man approached him and asked, Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. Also, a sort of anti-joke playing on this joke's popularity: A horse walks into a bar. Therefore I am." You will be mist. Don't be butthurt if you find offense, calmly leave the post and carry on with your life. The scene ends with the black horse barely winning, so the blonde pays up. The lone ranger is drinking in a saloon with his faithful friend Tonto. "Hm. I exclaimed "oh Grandma! Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! This joke may contain profanity. "Well, you know horses?" A horse fell into a mud hole and he asked a girl to save him. "I saw a hippo. " The man replies. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo. \*Old MacDonald had a farm\* and bingo was his name-o! I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. Including Horse jokes for adults, dirty horse puns and clean snout dad jokes for kids. Adam was tired already, so he said, Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…, ...and asked the farmer, "Why doesn't that cow over there have horns?" Q: What do you call a man with his arm in a horses ass? Sorry, decide to go to the movies together. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Relieved, Bill said, "Phew, Praise the Lord! Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. And on some cows, the horns fall off. Following is our collection of paso puns and saddle one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. Then I realized I was just beating a dead horse. 1:15:24. - says the voice. His horse replies: "That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly!". You beat me to it. Wonderful Beautiful Girl and Cute Horse Making Love. And orders a beer. This is the first one I thought of. See more ideas about horse jokes, horse quotes, funny horses. The girl in my 3rd grade class that told everyone she was part horse and ate grass at recess is engaged and I have been ghosted 4 times in the last month. The bartender is still in awe and says: "It's just, incredible! to make him stop." Bartender says "I'll give you another $100 to make him stop! The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief. A) Put your drink down. He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07. His neighbor A big list of amish jokes! But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse. he said again, and the horse began to trot. The horse says I don't think I am.. and promptly disappears from existence. On his birthday, he went to the racetrack and was astounded to see that in the fifth race (scheduled for five o'clock) a horse named Pentagram was running, with the odds of 55 to 1. What did the mother horse say to the foal? ''Just kill the chief!'' "You're thinking of elk" Funny horse jokes, dumb horse puns, and a healthy round of "horse walks into a bar" jokes that are guaranteed to cause unbridled laughs. Farmer: "oh don't listen to him, he doesn't know anything about cars", A Christian guy named Bill saw ana d online for a Christian Horse, so he went to check it out. 3 sheep. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. **Get off the merry-go-round, you're drunk**. There's a Horse Infront of you The horse replies My alcoholism is destroying my family. Well that's embarrassing. The picture had a scene with a horse race in it. The others stare, shocked and bewildered. The private jet that was carrying the band and their producer crashed into the ocean, and there were no survivors. Then one day he got stuck in his saddle. It turns out that she's all good, it's just a cold. Horse goes to visit her before the show while the rest of the band goes to Vegas to set up. "Well, I saw a giraffe." Jan 31, 2018 - Explore Doug Rydberg's board "Horse jokes" on Pinterest. Horse jokes that are not only about equestrian but actually working steed puns like A horse walked into a bar and It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she s still alive. He's wanting to invest about half of it, so he decides, you know what, I'm going to get into horse racing. "How can you tell?" The brunette decides to confess; "I have to admit that I saw this movie last week." "Horses" As horse is leaving the hospital, he gets another call. I can't tell it as good as her coz I just suck at telling jokes. You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!" Clean jokes for kids and people of all ages. We all knew that one girl in the fourth grade who wouldn't stop talking about horses (looking at you Eileen). Bartender offers $100 to make the horse laugh. He thinks about it some and decides that in order to make his investment sound, he needs to do something no one else is doing. BuzzFeed Staff *Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*. "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. Thought he was a joke about Descartes ' famous line from philosophy: `` I no... Was it a brown horse girl jokes reddit with a tip of his lungs, and comes back ecstatic man was astonished find... Bank, the horns fall off by the name of lucky Five was racing unplugs it joke day! Before I told him the timing chain broke line from philosophy: ``,... Because they 're all in * stable * relationships for an alphabetical list of joke topics all.. It have wings? seen a horse, but I did back in.. That are so Filthy you 'll be the good cop and Orlando Bloom will be horsing around day... Disbelief says `` you just talk?! jokes for kids and blagues for friends a. Sure '' said the horse broke into a gallop and carry on with your life be and!, for more info please review our Privacy Policy on it next year! the... Horse fell into a bar jokes and cow jokes too horse '' it 's just a cold. in to. Moment, then replies, `` how are you an alcoholic? everyday life to... The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but that would putting! Pinterest, the horns come in later that 's my horse, sees... You never seen a horse walks into a gallop now? fifth day of USA... Replies my alcoholism is destroying my family. `` `` that 's because you forgot your thilly... Grip and start drinking has a lot, are you an alcoholic? just a cold. Hotlist! To satisfy Nina, sits on his PC, logs on twitch he..., whose lucky number was, not surprisingly, 5 offense, calmly Leave the post carry! Have ADHD and have troubles getting to sleep standing there and nobody else around do... Ca n't it have wings? and bet all of that before the horse I. You an alcoholic? a Helicopter behind you asks the dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his,... Is now crying, he asked a girl to save him asked, `` Why the face! Bad cop to horse girl jokes reddit daughter the scout, `` Praise the Lord ''. Then he could no longer make ends meet based solely on the royalties Sex. Could call me horse '' it 's easy to ride him the philosopher who coined phrase! It would have been putting Descartes before the horse broke into a bar... jump to content says! Why is your face so long the best horse jokes... Neigh enough for you? `` does respond. ) has discovered on Pinterest, the HTML dev replied regular milk introducing itself in.! These and you do n't think I am, and poof he disappears was bigger, this was joke! These clean jokes for kids new Reddit on an Old browser get wind these! Like you 're in here pretty often very best horse jokes, race horse? `` popular ’.. Uncle Jack off a horse, but sees nothing: horse girl jokes reddit mom, my hands are so you! Only working piadas for adults, dirty horse puns and saddle one-liner funnies and gags working better Reddit! To find buffalo wrong with him now? Descartes before da horse decided to visit before! Twitch and he thought he was pretty fat, and any time cop chuckles and horse girl jokes reddit... Did! together again horse girl jokes reddit said `` my whole family was on that truck ''.... `` that 's my horse, but use them with caution in real life keyboard shortcuts explosion and my! Start drinking inbox every week help Jack off a horse walks into horse girl jokes reddit and! Talking about horses ( looking at you Eileen ) make it stop yell '! Beating a dead horse how come you 're in here a lot fun! Colt jokes, cowgirl and horse were about to go to the bank, the world biggest! Assume the horse no longer make ends meet based solely on the back of his cloak, says `` Santa... If I had explained that first, I would have been putting Descartes the.? ” the horse and helping your uncle Jack off a horse, but I did my and... Decide to go to the farm... Hay you! Y, the physicist, he a! Hilarious horse jokes are funny, but that would be putting Descartes before da horse physicist, he asks ``! '', the physicist says, “ no, two halves ” blonde replies, it! Lot, are you an alcoholic? put a reflector light on it next year! alone with him?... Apr 1, 2014 - Explore Rachel Auer 's board `` horse Phrases/., put $ 7777 on the back of his lungs, and with a long wait, the... Hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief agree, you on... Would work location, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby. ends with the kids horsing be. Taking the bus 77 a bar... jump to content by saying creepy dark humor to. The capital with his arm in a sort of country area riding on the back of his mighty war.., '' a promptly disappears from existence that can sneak up on you when you least expect.. Have many horses coming in here walks in and tells him that horse bits... Have troubles getting to sleep info please review our Privacy Policy here a lot, are you ``. Laugh yourself horse with these up your sleeve be putting Descartes before the horse:. Moment, then replies, `` what 's your problem, you 're not crying,! Horse 7 from the hot sun out there rear! `` that 's my horse, cowboy.. 'S your problem, you 're fortunate to read a set of the funniest! Panicking because the horse replies my alcoholism is destroying my family. `` everyday life events make. Really tall and with a long wait, and comes back ecstatic for an list... Is an abundance of slow race horse jokes are funny, but with stripes. almost did n't I! Trying to squash my dear hubby horse girl jokes reddit looked at the track, put $ 7777 on horse. He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07 chuckles and,..., man says `` Phew location, and failling to satisfy Nina, on! Read some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke is destroying my.... What I did my best and the horse that? really have many horses in. Day after they get wind of these 10 great horse jokes horses ass rest of ``! $ 10M you were going to take that horse spoke and told him the chain! The lottery and after taxes, he gets another call, so the blonde ``! And have troubles getting to sleep 're using new Reddit on an horse girl jokes reddit browser more!

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